Don't apply to NC if...

Natural Creativity is not a one-size-fits-all model. We aim to be accessible to families that share our values and self-directed learning approaches. While some families may recognize early on that we’re not the right fit—during an inquiry call, tour, or early enrollment—others may discover differences later in the process. We prioritize transparency and invite families to share their values for mutual assessment, though some aspects may still be overlooked.

To clarify, we’ve created a list of “Do not apply to NC if…” scenarios. If any resonate with you, we encourage you to discuss them during enrollment conversations. We don’t expect families to have all the answers but hope for openness to exploring learning beyond conventional schooling.

This piece could be titled “Things to Consider Before Stepping Into SDE” or “Don’t unschool if…” but we’ve tailored it specifically for Natural Creativity. We also recognize that no single educational or parenting method suits every young person or family, and we encourage creative thinking about how to organize and experience life and education.

A Note on Terms

“Conventional school” = What most of us think of when we think “school,” “education,” or “childhood.” In the US, this looks like compulsory attendance in a building from ages 5-18 or so. Think classrooms, desks, age-restricted groups, a teacher at a board, curricula, grades, tests, assignments, homework, credits, recess, social cliques, art/movement as extra-curriculars, etc.

“Self-directed education” and “unschooling” are used interchangeably here.

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1. You believe there is one “normal” way for young people to behave and learn, and that adults should be the ones to tell them how.

We embrace the vast diversity of human behavior and learning styles. Our role as facilitators is not to mold young people into a particular version of “normal” but to support them in discovering who they are. Check out Naomi Fisher's blog post for more.

2. You want NC to teach your young people “manners” or “respect.”

The words “manners” and “respect” are defined by individuals, families, and cultures, often vaguely or intangibly. We are not able to define them for everyone. 

When we have heard parents mention this desire, we sense they want us to “socialize” their child in a way that will make them agreeable and amenable to everyone they meet. For some families, this concern is based on a lived experience around how the world will react to a child labelled as “other” due to their race, dis/abilities, neurodivergence, gender presentation, or something else. Other times, we sense that a parent is passing on their own judgments and fears from how they were raised and placing it on the child’s future--something that can obscure the current reality the child is living in. 

At NC, we have community agreements around things like body speed, volume, and engagement with others. These agreements are shaped through conversation and relationships, not rigid rules. 

3. You do not believe in the natural diversity of human bodies, experiences, and expressions of gender, sex, or sexual orientation.

If there is an expectation for NC to enforce gender norms related to clothing, names, language, or behaviors, NC will not be a good fit. We believe young people of any age have the agency to self-define their gender, sex, sexuality, and fashion, and they deserve support in doing so. If we notice that a young person's choice of clothing or style is bringing up conversations among adults (or anyone) around “appropriateness,” we include the young person in that conversation; we do not assume that “appropriate” is a universally agreed upon concept or term, or that we know “what’s best.”

5. You are 100% sure your young person must go to college and needs a college-prep curriculum (regardless of their interest or understanding of college).

We support many paths for young people, including college, but we do not impose a one-size-fits-all college-prep track. If college is important to your young person’s goals, we will help them explore it as an option. Young people can start taking classes at Community College of Philadelphia at age 16 for free. Many homeschoolers enjoy the gentle “on ramp” that community college offers for collegiate expectations. Some do not pursue this option at that age.

When parents seem stuck in future-fixation about their young person, we ask: “When you imagine your young person at 30, who/what do you hope they are?” Frequent answers: Happy; able to pursue their goals; have close relationships; able to take care of themselves (and not rely on parent(s) for everything, financial or otherwise); able to see a future for themselves. Sometimes, the answer is “I want them to be successful.”

This leads to another important question for all of our community members, young and old alike: “What does ‘success’ mean to you?” Without self-exploration around the concept, we tend towards easily legible “success” markers like job titles or salary grades. These markers of success may be predicted through college attendance/performance, but not necessarily. In the self-directed model, we cannot define success for anyone else but ourselves. We encourage young people to think critically about their interests, goals, ability to take on debt, and other factors that influence postsecondary choices.

Many parents have shared that their college expectations were misguided: “I was expected to go to college at 18 without knowing what I wanted,” “I wish I had more time to consider my options,” “I dropped out and found a better path,” and “I would have chosen differently if I knew other options existed.” Our parent community includes all education levels, from never-attended-college to PhDs.

6. Your only understanding of NC’s role in your home education is: “NC is for play, but we do school at home.”

In a functioning self-directed education model, a young person has significant say in the structure and direction of their days, whether they go to a self-directed center or not.

A work/play dichotomous mindset creates tension for everyone. Young people don’t experience significant self-direction around their life (because parents are telling them what to do at home), and they see facilitators as extra authority figures to defy or ignore. Parents who compartmentalize NC as just a play space tend to engage less in the community, missing out on the relationships that make self-directed education thrive. Young people who don’t experience self-direction will not have a chance to buy into it; they will assume that they are being denied something rather than given opportunities.

Play IS children’s work! In fact, it offers crucial developmental elements for all ages, not just young people. Open-ended exploration, imaginative games, dabbling about…all of these things are how a young person learns and grows. Lots of educators have written about the value of play. Check out Naomi Fisher's writing here and Peter Gray's writing here.

7. You are looking for an organization that “protects” your young person from the “evils” of society through separation, seclusion, or isolation.

There is no such place. “Protecting” them from the realities of our society only defers the inevitable, and isolation limits their opportunities to learn from and change the world. Families who align with NC want their young people to be fully engaged participants in their family, community, and the world. They want them to meet diverse people and have a variety of experiences, learning to navigate the complexities of life rather than being shielded from them. Yes, this may mean that a young person may encounter challenges they are not quite ready for. It means that the parents have to be responsive to reactions to these encounters. NC is ready and willing to provide resources and support for parents to engage during those tough moments.

8. You are looking for a community guided by organized religion.

NC is a secular organization with a variety of spiritual, religious, and nonreligious practices among its families and staff. Historically, we have not attracted families practicing Christian-based homeschooling (or homeschooling rooted in any other religious doctrine).

9. Your young person really wants to go to school.

We do not believe homeschooling, unschooling, or self-directed education should be the only option for families. As a holistic and learner-centric education space, we center young people's needs and desires to the best of our capabilities, including a young person's interest to enroll in or return to conventional schooling. Why might a young person want to go to school? Perhaps they want to seek out and thrive in the structure and social environment of school, or want easier access to specific opportunities. Others feel reassured knowing that school is an option, even if they don’t choose it right now. Some young people internalize that homeschooling is their only option and suppress any curiosity about school for fear of upsetting the family’s “norms.” We have heard from lifelong-homeschooled older teens who wished their parents had more openly discussed school as a possibility so they could have decided for themselves. “I probably would have chosen homeschooling,” said one 17-year-old, “but it would have been nice to know explicitly that school was an option.”  

Regardless of the learning pathway one chooses, the space to reflect and make shifts to suit the needs of the young person and family is crucial, including around homeschooling. We recognize this is not an easy decision; there are many factors to consider, and NC is positioned to support parents in making decisions best suited to their families needs.

9a. Vignette: How one homeschooling parent responded to her child’s statement, “I want to go to school.”

One parent told us about a time when her unschooled young people (ages 8 and 10) said they wanted to go to school. Rather than shut it down or discuss it intellectually, she invited  them on a “field trip” to observe a nearby school from the outside over several days, at the start of the day, recess/lunch, and end of the day. From their vantage point they saw: various levels of coercion to get students in the building, pent-up energy that erupted during recess, gendered dynamics on the playground, and exhaustion at the end of the day. These "field trips" led to fruitful discussions and curiosities as to what happens inside the building that led to the behaviors they saw outside the building.

Curious about the ending of this story? We could share it, but it would be one data point from one family with its own past, present, and future. It may not be helpful for you because it’s not your family! There are many stories out there about what works and doesn’t work for other families, but only you and your family can write your story. NC families step into the brave and courageous work of writing their own stories as they go.

10. You expect your young person to produce a specific kind of work or product at NC.

We can’t force young people to produce; they are autonomous. Years ago, an 8-year-old came to NC with their "light dimmed by school." They thrived in our open environment, exploring and making friends. However, when their dad picked them up, they hurriedly created a drawing to show him, saying, “Is this good enough? My dad always asks what I did and wants to see something I made.” An NC facilitator acknowledged her feelings but didn’t equate productivity with success. Eventually, the parent stopped asking, and the child stopped feeling stressed.

This pressure to “perform” learning is common but insidious. Learning is often invisible or unfolds in unexpected ways, and an adult’s well-meaning attention can feel like intrusive pressure to the developing mind. Some of the “products” that come out of an NC day might resemble conventional schoolwork (creating art, reading a book), but much of it is more subtle or abstract (practicing taking turns in a game, saying ‘no’ to someone rather than people-pleasing). Parents must do the work of trusting that learning is happening—even when it doesn’t look conventional. Check out Carol Black’s essay on the adult gaze.

11. You don’t want to explore your own experience with school.

Exploring one’s own experiences with school is called “deschooling.” It is a continuous, lifelong journey from the inside out that has profound effects on schooled adults as much as young people who have gone to a few years of school. Self-directed education isn’t just a change for the young person—it transforms family dynamics, parenting approaches, and how childhood is structured. Parents who haven’t examined their own schooling experiences often struggle with shifting trust, control, and expectations around learning in the self-directed realm. 

There is no way you can fully understand your own experience with school at the onset of doing something different with your young people; your deschooling grows as theirs does. There is lots of writing around about deschooling but it is ultimately a very personal experience.

12. You are only running from something and haven’t thought at all about what you’re running towards.

Families come to NC with all kinds of school trauma, baggage, stories, and more. NC is their safe haven/shining light/[insert metaphor here]. Without the willingness to explore what happens after leaving school and set new intentions, families may recreate practices that perpetuate previous harmful learning paths.  You are probably aware of what you don’t want for your young person, but what do you want? What do they want? These wants are continuously articulated throughout the learning journey. 

13. You want to do it all yourself.

NC is a community. Families who thrive here are open to collaboration, learning from others, sharing, and engaging in shared experiences. If you prefer a fully independent approach without engaging in the community, NC may not be the right choice. See #7 on this post "10 Unschooling Mistakes You Want to Avoid."

14. You want to recreate school outside of school.

Self-directed learning is an emergent process filled with doubts and anxieties (and joys and discoveries). Self-directed learning is labeled as the scary "unknown" while conventional schooling is labeled as the "known." In reality, both conventional schooling and unschooling are unknowns. If families recreate school at home (ie parent-as-teacher, lessons from textbooks, strict curricula, grades), they are likely to recreate the power structure, lack of autonomy, and low enthusiasm/tolerance for exploration found in schools, with fewer friends or peer relationships. We encourage families to co-create their unique, responsive version of education with everyone involved, including young people.

Parents report that it takes at least three years to become comfortable with the uncertainties of self-directed learning, while young people adapt more quickly. Each transition, such as entering or leaving school levels, introduces new fears and doubts.

15. You expect NC to solve all your educational or family problems. 

We are one organization made up of limited individuals, interacting with existing family systems with their own characters, dynamics, lifespans, and outcomes. Differences among coparents, mental and physical health issues, sudden financial changes, pandemics…all of these emerge in every family and are largely unpredictable. We cannot solve every problem because life and learning are complex! Families who are willing to engage with this complexity find a better fit at NC.

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Interested in learning more about Natural Creativity? Check out our FAQ page. We enroll young people ages 5-18 in our self-directed learning community in Germantown, Philadelphia.